


Let Her Go

by tsukkuyomi



Category: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Power Rangers, Power Rangers Zeo
Genre: Baked Goods, F/M, Love, Songfic, but give it a chance - Freeform, even when it should be, is not always obvious, let her go, underaged drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 04:11:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4651788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukkuyomi/pseuds/tsukkuyomi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy didn't understand. But he would.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Her Go

**Author's Note:**

> (So this is a songfic. No, don't leave DX Please give it a chance; it's (in my mind) a sort of companion to my friend noblereason's story Sometimes You Need Someone (go read it too, it's great XD) and poooooooossible prequely story to The Ranger's Initiative (likely same verse, definitely before it). Please tell me what you think and go read the other stories too X3)

They met one sunny day and all Tommy knew was that Tsuki was strange but not in a bad way; more like the way that being a Power Ranger was strange, how it was strange when it rained while it was sunny, like how strange it was when you look at someone and realize in that second that you love them more than anything else. She was strange, good hearted, stubborn minded, over protective and loved to bake; she was really very weird but definitely not a bad way.

When Billy told her he liked her and she smiled in that happy way she did sometimes, not the half smile, not the tiny one she did when trying to hide something or just pretending, but an actual smile and wrapped her arms around his neck to hug the genius tight, Tommy smiled as well. Because come on Billy deserved to have some love and it seemed to make Tsuki happy too. Which was good; it was good Tsuki was happy. The two were a cute couple too, Billy blushing and looking startled by the hug, and the tiny swordsgirl just clinging to him, and it was a good thing they had each other. Tommy thought it was good.

So why did he feel his smile fall a bit as the two walked away and even with Kim holding his hand, so close, so sweet, that pink lady of his, his heart felt tight.

 

__**Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
  
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you’re missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go**

 

Tsuki needed to do something about her liquor because letting teenagers drink was not only illegal but immoral and irresponsible. Even if most of them were pretty funny when they were drunk; Merrick seemed to completely lose all will to exist, RJ started hugging everyone he could find, Cole seemed to lose at least part of his fine motor skills, and Tommy had to admit it was sort of nice to feel that buzz in the back of his head. Kim was fast asleep on the couch, a godsend because as Tommy looked around he saw that Andros had likely swallowed more than a few glasses because he was currently trying to get Tsuki to kiss him. Billy looked less than amused truthfully but the swordsgirl herself just laughed and gently pushed Andros away, trying to redirect him back over to where Merrick was half conscious with his head on a table. Andros was stubborn; Merrick was no fun like that and Tommy could half understand but Tsuki was more stubborn. Tsuki was always stubborn; a glance to his arm reminded him so, only recently out of a cast. Kim had nearly had a heart attack when he arrived at school with it, getting all fawning and concerned over him; he could only smile and tell her it was nothing, just a sprain, he'd be fine really, just an accident. Yet, his mind hovered on, yet he hadn't been able to tell her the whole truth, about how Tsuki had appeared out of nowhere after he had hurt himself, as if knowing, as if sensing he needed her. The way she fussed over him, the way she forced him into letting her help him, and ultimately the way it made his heart stop for a second when she touched him, saying she didn't like seeing him hurt, saying she wanted to help, looking so angry and sad at the same time as she set his sprained arm into the cast.

“Why...?” he muttered into the glass in his hand, downing another shot of some alcohol, he already forgotten what it had been. The name didn't matter; it all gave the same sharp taste and the same numbness and quiet in his head. He didn't understand a lot but that especially struck out to him.

Why couldn't he tell Kim about Tsuki being there?

 

__**Staring at the bottom of your glass  
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last  
But dreams come slow and they go so fast  
  
You see her when you close your eyes  
Maybe one day you'll understand why  
Everything you touch surely dies **

 

The ranger cookies had been his idea but he had forgotten by the time she started showing up with them; holding one in his hand, looking at it, Tommy couldn't help a smile at it. It was him, or rather his green ranger form; the detail was amazing, she even gave him a little dragon dagger. How the hell she even managed to make it look like the dragon dagger was beyond him; he could barely put icing on a gingerbread cookie without it looking like some deformed monster. Of course ultimately whether the cookie was pretty or not didn't matter when it comes to eating but still it was something he thought about for a second.

Worse yet was her bringing them around right before a karate lesson; how the hell was he supposed to explain to his students why he was eating something as unhealthy as a sugar cookie, or six? But he supposed, munching down another and another, that was something for another time. Another place. He did enjoy her baking, he had to admit she was a great baker. A bit too good he supposed; his stomach started to hurt, causing her to shake her head and run off to go get a glass of water for him, managing somehow to not tell him she told him so. Somehow. He let her, letting her take back the container and watching as she rushed off, looking intent upon, as always, taking care of her friend. Her “brother”. He didn't need to be babied, and he didn't need to be taken care of and coddled, he liked to think, but it did make him smile a bit watching her.

He didn't even fully understand why it was he felt he needed to smile looking at her.

 

__**But you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
  
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go **

 

Tommy was so angry and it felt like his entire being was going to burst into flames. Like he needed to scream, break something, slam his hand against a wall or door or something of the like, if only to let out some of that frustration, to relieve the intense feeling starting to build and build inside him, demanding he either do something or let what happens next happen. And it was all Tsuki's fault, a common enough statement; she was so frustrating, so angering. She somehow knew exactly the wrong things to say, exactly the wrong time to say it or just show up at all, and yet couldn't even be bothered to show up when he needed her most. When he needed someone. There he said it, even if it was just to himself, only in his head; he did need someone sometimes but no, she couldn't bother to be there when he did.

And worse yet was when she did appear; did she have to bother him now? All he had been doing was playing around, being a little flirty. Kim wouldn't mind if he flirted a bit, as long as he was still true to her, only really gave his heart to her; she wasn't like Billy who seemed to fear any time Tsuki talked to another boy, so insecure, so afraid. Tsuki though, she didn't need to butt in, comment, to say he shouldn't flirt; it was none of her business, never was. It wasn't her place to say nothing could ever happen between them eiother; how could she be so sure? What made her think she knew everything about him? That he couldn't possibly care about her, want her, find himself thinking about her a lot more than most other girls?

It went downhill though, so downhill, so fast, and now he was just angry and riled up and frustrated and guilty. He felt guilty, because she'd looked so hurt. He shouldn't have said what he did; he knew just the wrong thing to say and right when to say it, he knew what would hurt her the most, and he went ahead and said it. And she had just looked so hurt.

He was so angry, but mostly at himself.

 

__**Staring at the ceiling in the dark  
Same old empty feeling in your heart  
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast  
  
Well you see her when you fall asleep  
But never to touch and never to keep  
'Cause you loved her too much  
And you dived too deep **

 

There was something weird about being a teenager going grocery shopping with a friend of yours but mostly because it felt a bit awkward. Or maybe Tommy was the only one who felt like that; he didn't normally go grocery shopping, with anyone. Not his parents, not Kim, not anyone, yet there he was with Tsuki, in the store, watching as she tried to pick out the right bread for whatever it was she was planning on using it for. Sandwiches probably, certainly not anything like her usual things he figured, unless pb and j sandwiches counted. But honestly he had no idea what he was doing here; best he could do was grab something random and throw it in, only to get a look from Tsuki that was akin to a parent dealing with a troublesome child. He didn't much like the look and he certainly didn't appreciate being lectured; he wasn't a kid, they both knew this, and she didn't need to lecture him, no matter how annoying it was having him throwing random things in her basket. Like he knew much about anything here.

Yet....this was actually kind of nice. Because she didn't always give him that look; he got a candy bar in there and he knew she saw, he knew she was aware he put it in, but all he got, all she did, was smile lightly to herself and continue what she was doing. And he got her to laugh; she asked about what he wanted to eat and she asked for his opinion on what to do for dinner, what to get. It struck him only after they left, a thought he kept to himself but that started to poke at his conscious mind, that this was her trying to spend time with him. She was trying to be friendly, she was trying to just spend time with him again; she had been focused so much on Billy, or so he felt sometimes, and this was her way of making up for it.

And something else too because as they walked back to her house she held his hand in hers and he couldn't bring himself to make her let go.

 

__**Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
  
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go**

 

Kim left. It was simple as that and it was not simple at all, because honestly Tommy didn't understand. He didn't understand why she decided to tell him through a letter. He didn't understand why she didn't maybe call, tell him some other way, something better than through a Dear John letter. He didn't understand why he wasn't good enough for her. Why wasn't he enough for her?

Maybe it was the distance. Maybe it was just time. Maybe it was not him, maybe she just found someone closer to give her heart to. He'd give her his and wasn't sure what to do when she sent it back, torn to shreds in the form of words on a piece of paper, just that it hurt. And when it was done hurting it just made him numb.

The ski trip did not help; trying to pick up another girl did not help, being around Katherine did not help, and certainly being anywhere near Tsuki around Billy did not make anything better. But alone with her? He found himself more often visited by her; he'd be at karate practice and there she'd be, sitting and watching him. And it bothered him that Tsuki with Billy felt so angering, but Tsuki alone made him just feel more...he wasn't even sure what. Just that he didn't question it. He let her show up; he ate the food she brought him, the cookies, the muffins, even a salad or two when he had been staying late and he had been staying late more and more he realized. But only after she started bringing them. And smiling felt easier somehow with her because she smiled at him and for once didn't question, didn't demand to know what was going on, try to force him to let her help. Maybe she was learning, or maybe she just saw the way he looked when alone, when the weight of what Kim had done to him came down hard on him. She had said she hated to see him hurt after all.

This was when he started to realize it but it felt too late; Tsuki had Billy and Billy made her happy. And Tommy wanted Tsuki to be happy, unable to bring himself to just tell her to stay whenever she would leave him, to force her to stay; he couldn't.

 

__**And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)  
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)  
Will you let her go? **

 

Tsuki loved to fight with them. Tommy knew this, she'd done it before and last time had been enough of a disaster, despite them winning, for her to have hopefully have learned her lesson. Apparently though the only lesson she retained was not to climb inside the giant monsters.

Admittedly just being around the giant monsters was something he thought she should learn not to be; it was safe for the Rangers, safer at least, but they had suits, made to protect them and give them power, and giant mechas for fighting, and Tsuki had...a sword. And some strange device in her jacket she pretended she didn't sometimes. She was a small swordsgirl with a stubborn streak and a refusal to stand back when the fight turned serious, and it was frustrating enough when Tommy had just thought of her as a friend, a “sister”, that annoying girl who sometimes appears out of nowhere and bugs him and brings him sweets and pushes all of his buttons. It was worse looking at her and watching her draw her sword and start to teleport about to avoid the footsteps of the monster the Rangers were fighting, to travel up the body and try somehow to cause damage, and know that she was much more to him than just his friend.

She was also a genius and an idiot; while she did very, very, VERY little damage, she did distract the creature, which considering it had been spending the last ten mintues holding the Power Rangers hostage with some weird power making them unable to move, which seemed to depend on it's ability to focus on them and them alone, definitely was actually helpful. But she wore no suit, because she was not a Ranger. And she got to the monster's shoulder when it finally managed to catch her and Tommy could only watch for a moment as it plucked her off it's shoulder, laugh, and listen to his comrades tell it to put her down. A very bad choice of words; from the way she looked as it dropped her she was not going to be able to teleport again. And the drop was not going to be cushioned by Org guts this time.

 

__**'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
**

Tommy didn't hesitate, probably half because the blood was rushing in his ears and he couldn't focus on the sound of his friends gasping, turning away, unable to watch her fall. All he could focus on in that moment was the numb sensation of leaving his zord and jumping.

__

__**Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go **

 

It was stupid too but maybe that was the point; maybe people were just stupid about things like this. They were all stupid; Merrick was stupid about Andros, always letting him do whatever he wanted and being hurt when the boy fought him. Billy had been stupid about Tsuki, getting so sensitive about her being around anyone who might attract her and then being the one to leave her. Tommy had been stupid about Kim, thinking all they needed was their feelings when they couldn't even see each other. And more importantly right now stupid about Tsuki.

 

_**'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low** _

 

Stupid about how she smiled just as happily at him when they were alone, as she had with Billy.

 

_**Only miss the sun when it starts to snow** _

 

Stupid about seeing how much she had helped him and made him smile and feel better long before Kim had left him behind.

 

_**Only know you love her when you let her go** _

 

Stupid about how sad she'd seemed for a while, so lost, so forgotten, and how much he had missed when she had held his hand so tight on the way back from the store. The way she had come to him more and more.

 

_**Only know you've been high when you're feeling low** _

 

And stupid about accepting just how much he loved her, loved the frustrating, angering, annoying, overprotective, stubborn, kind, sun-like-smile-having, sweets baking, alcohol-having, genius and stupid swordsgirl. Because he did, and he was tired of just letting her do whatever, he was tired of letting everyone just do whatever when it came to his feelings.

 

_**Only hate the road when you're missing home** _

 

He reached out to her and grabbed her hand, Tsuki turning her head to look at him as Tommy pulled her closer, holding her against him. She didn't have a suit but he did; all he had to do, all he needed to do, was hold her, keep her in his arms and if she landed on him....

“Tommy?” she asked.

“You're stupid,” he told her though he was unsure she could hear him with the wind blasting around them. He held her tight and closed his eyes for a moment, thinking for a moment if they weren't falling to what could be her death if this went wrong, this could almost be romantic.

 

_**Only know you love her when you let her go** _

 

The ground came what felt too quick and he laid there, aware at first only that yes, he landed first and Tsuki was on top of him. He couldn't feel anything, except her there, but no heartbeat, no breathing, and he was frantic for a second before she groaned softly and it felt like his own heart restarted. Because she sat up from on top of him and winced in pain, muttering something, but everything was ringing again and he sat up as well. She said something about him being stupid, about that being stupid, she'd be fine, she was always okay, he didn't have to jump after her and why did he even do that? And he had no answer, not really.

He removed his helmet and she looked at him to ramble more but he cupped her face and kissed her instead, effectively shutting her which was good. But this was just better.

 

_**And you let her go** _

 

Tommy wouldn't let her go again.

 


End file.
